Journey through the (stomach) acid

Well it's been quite some time since I've written. But I'm back! Before I rewind and tell you of Mr. Monkey's latest adventures, I must begin by pointing to the humorous attachment to the medication I picked up today from the pharmacy. Two things should be noted about this medicine. The first is that under the "How To Use This Medicine" portion on the attachment (it's a simple pill, by the way) it states:

IF YOU CANNOT SWALLOW THE CAPSULE WHOLE, you may open it and sprinkle the contents over a spoonful of applesauce. Mix the medicine with the applesauce and swallow the mixture right away, followed by a glass of water.

As a pet owner I found this humorous as I've had to do this with dogs in the past.

The second bit that amused me was under "Possible Side Effects":
SIDE EFFECTS that may occur while taking this medicine include diarrhea, gas, nausea, stomach pain, upper respiratory tract infection, or vomiting. If they continue or are bothersome, check with your doctor.

Now first let me say that over half of those are symptoms of the very reason I'm taking this medicine. So not very helpful to tell me these are side effects of the medicine. How will I know if I'm having a side effect or just a continuation of my problem? But to the most amusing bit of it all: if they are bothersome??? Really? Are any of those things not bothersome (okay, maybe not gas, but I'm assuming they don't mean just regular breaking wind).

Probably wondering why I read any of that at all. Well, honestly because I was curious as my pharmacist did not provide me any information on my new medicine and also because I thought I might give it a once over before putting it in the trash as I normally do.

Now let's rewind a few months.
Mr. Monkey was deep in paper purgatory. Overwhelmed and falling behind on his filing, he barely had time to notice the chickens were very quiet. Mr. Monkey has always known that when nothing makes sense anymore and there's a nagging pain, it's time to take a break for a spot of tea and some biscuits. During this six month trip through purgatory, Mr. Monkey noticed that sometimes tea and biscuits just weren't getting the job done. Unfortunately the paper kept coming and so there was no time to really ponder on this. So few months ago when Mr Monkey emerged from this paper purgatory, the nagging pain and lack of sense seemed a bit overwhelming. Perhaps Mr. Monkey had worked himself into an illness, or so he thought to himself. As purgatory became but a memory, it seemed the pain lessened and sense was frolicking again. But the chickens were restless, so Mr. Monkey buckled down and focused on them instead of this mystery.
It has only been in recent weeks that Mr. Monkey realized there are tiny fiery beasts living inside him. They strike with a vengeance when Mr. Monkey is partaking in his two favorite activities: napping in his chair, and sipping tea while eating biscuits. How rude!

So Mr. Monkey has begun a quest to start a new filing cabinet on these little fiery beasts. They must be stopped. Not even the chickens are allowed to interfere with BOTH leisurely dining AND sleep. Even the chickens know how to be respectful of Mr. Monkey's time by the fire. And so Mr. Monkey is preparing for a battle. He's preparing in really the only way a dignified monkey can. He's rummaging through books and incoming papers looking for information on the fiery beasts.

Prepare thyself! Mr. Monkey is going to war.