Sorry for the dry spell

No it wasn't that nothing was going on. Far from it. Life has been busy and hectic and getting better. Mr B returns tomorrow night. I'm excited about that. He's also been accepted into a graduate program about 2 hours away. Gut reaction is that this is probably best during my three month trek through hell beginning in February. But we'll see how true this gut reaction is. Perhaps the strain of being away during those busy three months will be more than what would have been strain resulting from living with me while I make my epic three month journey. Prediction is that sleep deprived and emotionally thin Orange Panda will alternate between a screeching harpies and a pile of incoherent mess. I've been considering screen plays. It would be a horror movie worthy of an Oscar.

But I won't think forward too much to that epic journey. Part of me thinks it can't compare to the trek I've already begun inward. For what can be more terrifying and eye-opening than a journey inward? I've always prided myself on being rather self-aware. I see the humor in this now. Balancing a mask while constructing a wall is not nirvana. 

I've begun again this self-reflection and discovery. I wonder if this is something which I must do every three to four years, or if eventually I will be able to pull the time like taffy, longer and longer, but with no breaks. I'd like that.

It's officially fall. I realize this is odd as it's October, but that's central Texas for you. Fall is one of my favorite times of year. Actually, it's my favorite. I love the smell of cool air, still damp from the night's cold front rain. I love the wind, shaking down those leaves while flirting my hair around my face. I love the clothes I can wear, the layers. I love the food I can eat and the time off to enjoy my friends and family. All in all it is a good time of year.

So this current journey of discovery is uncertain. I'm unsure how to tell what is me, or me tricking me. I know certain truths about me, but they sound little more than desperate lines from a match-making questionnaire. I am a photographer. I love to dance. I love to sing. I love animals. I need my sleep. I'm grouchy when I'm hungry. I'm grouchy when I'm tired, until I'm too tired, at which point I'm giddy and hyper before crashing hard.

These thins are all parts of me...but I feel this quest to find myself and to be sure of myself is not satisfied with this list. So I'll continue. I can only hope I've made some progress of worth before February. And now to get ready for bed. This daylight savings time is still messing with me!