Body Purpose

Mr B often tells me about dogs and their behaviors (he's a dog person, I'm a cat person). Many dogs, but especially herding dogs need a purpose to be happy. They are genetically inclined to do work. If they can't secure the perimeter, or make sure some animal, any animal, is being herded and directed, then they aren't really happy. Some will begin to have behavioral problems.

I've decided that some, if not all people are the same. We're animals, and we need a purpose. Most people think this means some life goal. For many that is exactly what it means. For myself, I've found I am like a herding dog. I am not happy when my body is not having to actually work. Mental work is great, but my body needs me to do something physical. When I don't, my mind begins to react and have 'behavioral problems'.

I've reached this determination due to my nearly 5 year struggle with anxiety. I take meds for it and usually that is enough. But at times, when there are external factors out of my control, the anxiety takes over and the meds really seem to not do a thing. This is when I have panic attacks. If you've ever had one you know they're not pleasant.

This past weekend I was struggling quite a bit. The problem with anxiety, or at least my anxiety, is that I rationally know what is making me anxious is not really a big deal. Knowing this will sometimes actually make the anxiety worse as I get mad at myself for being 'stupid' and worrying about nothing. But back to the point, I was struggling. So I did some research online (for probably the 10th time in the past 4 plus years) and found myself staring at a simple solution yet again. Exercise.

My problem with exercising to reduce anxiety is that I have that struggle most people have of getting to the gym. Only mine is amplified by the anxiety and worry that I'm wasting time by going because I have so many other things to do. I've adjusted, at least for the time being, my mindset and told myself that it's like going to a very important doctor's appointment. Basically I've told myself that it's for my health. That makes it seem really important, so I'm actually going now and not just writing it off as time-wasting.

After exercising, my mind is at peace..or at least pulling up the driveway to peace and feeling comfortable knowing it's still there. Now the doctors will tell you it's because of a number of things, mostly chemical, that exercise eases anxiety. I'm here to tell you it's because people are herding dogs.

We need that sense of purpose with our bodies, not just our minds. It's been said people didn't use to worry about as much because they didn't have time to worry, or they were so exhausted from working that they couldn't worry, they just had to sleep and get ready to do more physical labor the next day. I'm beginning to think there's something to be said for being physically exhausted at the end of the day. Perhaps there is a balance between the modern American business world of mental exhaustion but physical inactivity, and the poverty stricken field workers who are physically exhausted but, well, poor and uneducated. (that sounded harsh, but stick with me)

Perhaps what people need is that physical exertion. Our bodies need to be active, to move and have a purpose beyond being a vessel for our brains. At the end of the day, I'd like to have my mind and body tired. I'd like to need to go to bed at 9pm. I might get less done in the day, but at least I'd be happy and stress free.

This herding dog needs to feel that hum in my legs and the silence in my still, relaxed mind.