The Inner Beast

Fall does many things too me. It makes me giddy. It makes me sentimental. It makes me want to eat. And now I can say it makes me domestic. It's an evil evil beast inside me trying to get out. Suddenly I want to cook. Those of you who know me can stop laughing. Those of you who don't, let me just say I can burn just about anything. I have an amazing ability to F-up even simple recipes. But lately there have been so many good shows on about cooking and the change of season, the colder air, it's making me want to put on a frilly apron and cook. I saw a recipe a few months ago for macaroni and cheese made from scratch and it's been haunting me. It's been mocking me. Following me around, whispering 'come on, just give it a shot' all the while knowing I'll just burn it, or add too much of a certain ingredient or it will look perfect but taste like crap. And naturally my latest and greatest domestic urge has hit me while a) I'm studying for finals and b) my mixer is in storage 2 hours away.

I'm still attempting to tame the beast inside urging me to go out, buy many ingredients, and come home only to burn my new apartment down.

Oh another note, I've seemingly tamed the little beastie inside my youngest kitty, Taz. He's always been a talker. ALWAYS. But in the past month or so it's become ridiculous. So much so that I took him to the vet and found out to my dismay that it's an anxiety problem. He's on prozac now. Yes, that's right. My cat is on prozac. I feel like a failure of a kitty mommy. Two of my cats have anxiety problems. Where did I go wrong? I'm trying to convince myself that it's a result of them being rescue kitties. Maybe they're suffering from abandonment issues? Yes, crazy cat-lady here. But it keeps nagging me. I keep wondering if any human babies I have will grow up crazed and full of anxiety (well all know he/she will be crazed..it's a family trait).

And now back to studying, not cooking. And in a little while I have to pop a pill down my cat's throat.
Sigh.